The Importance of Resolving Conflicts in Friendship

Friendship's are incredibly precious and they can impact your life and your childs life in many ways.  As parents we are in control of so much of our child's day but friendships are something they get to choose on their own.  By the age of eight, friendships take up a lot of your child's interests and energy.  It is so common to see a perfect day in a students' life turn into the worst day because of a conflict with a friend or on the flip side a wonderful day is the result of a friend simply being kind or playing with them.  I would argue that friendship is more precious than gold.  If your child is having a bad or off day chances are that a friendship or social issue is at the root of the problem.  Tensions arise at every age and stage, but the ability to resolve conflicts independently develops as kids get older.  Children experience more conflicts with their close friends than with acquaintances.  So what can you do to help your child work through these inevitable conflicts?  Below are some tips in navigating these conflicts when they arise.


*Help your child handle the social conflict instead of solving the problem for them.
*Encourage your child to respect everyone -but don't expect them to be close friends with everyone.
*Be a positive role-model.  Refrain from gossiping and model pro-social behavior.
*Guide your child to come up with his/her own solutions by asking questions such as "What did you try?", "How did it work?", and "What else can you try?" instead of rushing to call the other child's parents.
*Help your child realize that they may have to respectfully disagree with their friend.
*Listen to your child and sympathize.
*Role-play what your child can say to the other child.
*Have your child use "I" statements such as,  "I feel sad when you treat me that way."
*Help your child be willing to compromise.
*Help your child listen to their friend and have them agree to resolve the conflict.
*Remind your child to stay calm and not let their emotions get the best of them.

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