Helping your child learn social skills in the digital world

The holiday season is now over but the digital presents and presence remains.  The question is how do we teach our children the human contact skills they still need in this digital age?  In a recent Parents magazine article from January 2015 they posed this exact question.  Many children struggle with making eye contact, reading body language/tone of voice in others, and having a face-to-face chat with friends and adults.  These deficits exist primarily because of the amount of tech time that children encounter on a day to day basis.  You can help your child learn these necessary skills by modeling proper social skills.  Start by leaving electronics off the table when eating with your family.  Use this time to instead practice conversation skills at the dinner table as a family.  You can encourage everyone to share a good thing about their day and something that made them feel sad, worried, or angry. Encourage everyone at the table to ask questions, listen actively, and offer advice when needed.  

Another way to show your children that personal interactions are more important than digital ones is to hold off on answering that text when you are in the middle of a conversation.  You can also help your child by helping them learn to recognize the nonverbal cues and emotions of others.  This can be done when reading a story together or role-playing.  At these times ask your child how the person is feeling and why they think they are feeling this way.  

Lastly, give your child the opportunity to practice these social skills when out in the community.  Too often we act as our kids' spoke person - we ask the librarian if a book is in at the library, we answer questions for them that friends and family ask them - you get the idea.  Next time you are out in the community, let your child order for themselves at a restaurant, when at the deli counter at the grocery store tell your child to ask for your order, at a store have them ask the employee the location of a certain item.  Have your child call to set up their own play dates - if necessary write a script for them to use during these times to make them feel more comfortable.   Once these steps have been put into place your child may surprise you by initiating a conversation with you instead of staring into a mobile device.